


River Lea

by ASnackForAlways



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24776644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASnackForAlways/pseuds/ASnackForAlways
Summary: The first mock trial was a disaster but what would have happened if they had a second one in 7x10? Read this one shot to find out. :)
Relationships: Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Kudos: 2





	River Lea

"Thanks, Ray."

Taking a deep breath in the comfort of the back seat of his Lexus, Harvey thinks about everything that happened these past few days. The whole Clifford Danner case was getting under his skin, but ever since Malik subpoenaed Donna, his stress levels had grown tenfold.

Which is why he's been trying to come up with something that leaves Donna out of it all. But the time was ticking and he still didn't come up with a solution. And that bothered him. A lot. So much so that he was getting way too anxious to think straight.

Though it wasn't the first time he's felt like this, this one felt different  
The last time he felt like this was years ago when everything in his life took a turn for the worse. Donna was framed with the intent to commit fraud. That case took a toll on everyone, but especially on him. He couldn't have imagined his life without her. But that went out of the window once his feelings for her surfaced.

It was a case similar to this one, both of them too difficult to close. But Harvey, being the lawyer that he is, tried to do everything in his power to succeed. And he almost did, but when he was in the home run, a complication arose - one by the name of Donna.

Ever since they started working together, her need to protect him was something he had problems with. Why? Because he was the one who was supposed to protect her. Not the other way around. Which is why he tried to do his best every time she was in danger - no matter the cost.

That might have worked last time, but now he's not too sure it would help when the opposing counsel is Andrew Malik. A person that knows both of their pasts at the DA's office.

But he had to try. For Donna. Because she was different, and Harvey knew that if something happened to her, he would be the one responsible.

Over the years, she had become an important part of his life. Not only was she his secretary - turned COO - but she was someone who he gladly called a friend. A best friend even.

And yet, all these years, there was a small part of him that kept wondering about all the what-ifs that could have been. What would've happened if he mustered up the courage and asked Donna out? Would she have said yes? Would they have lasted?

It was his past that made him too scared to cross the line.

His mom cheating on his dad had such an impact on his life that it prevented him from committing to any of his girlfriends. Even her. Especially her.

But it was the act of Donna leaving him that slowly cracked his shell and caused him to have panic attacks. Everything that has happened throughout his life has resulted in him having trouble sleeping and messed up his mental health. So much so that he had to seek professional help.

That didn't go as planned though. He met Dr. Paula Agard, who had charmed her way into his mind. So much so, that a year later, he found himself standing at her front door.

Which brings him here, three months later. In a relationship with a woman that his brain approved of, but his heart refused to cooperate with, simply because it was already occupied with another woman. Even if he didn't want to acknowledge it.

Paula was great. She was a breath of fresh air when he needed it the most. She was a great girlfriend, but she didn't get him the way Donna did.

Donna. Donna was everything to him. From the moment they met, she has become his best friend. Someone who he could trust and confide in. She had been there, with him, throughout all the good and bad things that happened in his life. Both personally and professionally.

Personally, she was there when his father died, when his brother got sick or when he wanted to vent about his mother. And professionally, she was there for every decision, trial, meeting, and closing. And not just back home.

They have traveled to various places together, but out of all of them, Las Vegas always held a special place in his heart…

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Harvey makes his way to his office and sits down on his chair with a big sigh. It was a tough day filled with a difficult, but successful trial, and yet that wasn't the reason behind his annoyance. It was Jessica or more specifically her new assignment for him to sign a client in Vegas.

On any other day, he would have loved to fly to The City of Sin. Any other day he would even go there a day early and hit the casinos and drink. But not this time. Not this Wednesday.

It was a special day. And even though he wasn't one for sentiments and anniversaries, he found himself looking forward to this day every year. Why? Because it was their day. On this day almost five years ago Donna started working for him.

It was on their first anniversary that Harvey had decided to make a reservation at Del Posto. It was a fancy restaurant that he later learned was one of Donna's favorites. Just because of that, they both decided to spend this day there every year onward.

Since then, it became a place of comfort for them. There, they could talk about anything - from work to their personal lives - while Donna stole a piece of strawberry pie off his plate. Talking to her was easy. It felt like the years of knowing each other had passed in a second, but at the same time, he knew that with her, he could be himself. There was no pretense around her. He could just strip all the baggage and be himself around her. Talking to her was easy.

But why couldn't he find the right words now?

Sighing, he presses the button to power on his intercom, asking Donna to come to his office. Harvey watches as she looks at him with a raised eyebrow and leaves her desk. The next thing he hears is the sound of her heels as she comes into his office.

"Yes?"

"Jessica asked me to go..."

"To Vegas? I know." Seeing Harvey's confused look Donna shrugs. "You know I listen."

Harvey rolls his eyes. Of course, he knows about that. She won't let him forget it.

"Speaking of Vegas. I need someone to go with me..."

Before Harvey has a chance to finish, Donna interrupts him.

"I already booked my ticket. Do you think that I would let you fend for yourself? This client is too important Harvey!"

How the hell does she do that?! "Then I'll pick you up in the morning."

"Sure." With that Donna leaves his office and goes back to her cubicle.

With his thoughts still in his office all these years ago, he barely registers the sound of the elevator indicating that he's reached the floor of Pearson Specter Litt. Stepping out, he makes his way towards Donna's office.

As he nears her office, he sees her pacing nervously. Which is why he knocks instead of just barging in.

"Is it time?" Donna takes a deep breath but doesn't wait for his reply/confirmation. "I'll be there in five minutes. I just need a second to gather myself."

Seeing her demeanor change, Harvey steps closer as his features and voice soften.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Donna looks at him, worry clear in her eyes. "I have a bad feeling about this, Harvey."

"This is just a mock trial, Donna. We've had one before."

Donna raises her eyebrow. "And do you remember how that went?"

Of course, he does. How could he not remember the look on her face or his heart racing in anticipation?

"I won't let that happen again."

"You can't promise that, Harvey!"

"But I can try."

Donna gives him a look. But before she can say something, Mike interrupts them. "The library is ready."

Harvey looks at Donna with a worried look. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." With that, they all make their way to the library.

"I can't believe that Jessica did this," Harvey says as he closes the door behind him. They have been on their way to meet Mr. Smith when Jessica called to inform him that the canceled due to a personal emergency.

Furious that he had to cancel their Del Posto dinner for nothing, Harvey rejects Donna's offer of a night on the town and instead, they headed back to their two-bedroom suit.

Which is where they find themselves now, sipping their drinks in silence. Suddenly Harvey's eyes widened.

"Do you think that she did this on purpose?"

Donna frowns. "Why would she do this on purpose?" But then realization strikes her, too. "No, I don't think so." She takes a gulp of her scotch. "Why would she do it anyway?"

"Because she hates me."

"Don't be dramatic, Harvey!"

Harvey rolls his eyes. "We could have been at Del Posto already, Donna!"

"But instead we are in Las Vegas, where we can go shopping!" Donna remarks, enthusiastically.

"Not after last time!" Harvey shakes his head.

"It wasn't that big of a deal," Donna says innocently.

Harvey raises his eyebrow. "You bought so much stuff that I had to call Ray with a second car! Not to mention that you maxed out my card."

She has a remark ready on her lips, but once she sees the smirk on his face she punches his arm. "Jerk."

It might be the situation that they're in, the atmosphere or the alcohol that makes them burst out laughing, they don't know. What they know is that this, them spending time together, feels right.

They spend the next few minutes just talking and drinking when Harvey suggests they play a game.

"What are you? Ten?" Donna jokes.

"Twelve and a half." He deadpans. "Just humor me."

Donna rolls her eyes. "Fine. But what are we playing?"

Harvey smirks. "Truth or Dare, my friend."

Seeing the full library before her brings a lot of unpleasant feelings for Donna. The surroundings might be familiar, but this mock trial feels different.

It could merely be because this time it's Mike posing as Malik and Harvey at her side as her lawyer. This time Louis is acting as the judge, and that makes her feel all kinds of better.

Sitting down in her seat Donna looks around the room and spots Rachel, who gives her a reassuring smile. Looking to her right, she sees Harvey with his game face on.

Mike stands up from his seat and walks to the front. "The plaintiff would like to call Ms. Donna Paulsen to the stand."

She makes her way to the stand and sits down, taking a deep breath, as Mike begins his questioning.

"Ms. Paulsen, could you please state your employment history prior to becoming a legal secretary at Pearson Specter Litt?" Mike looks at the audience and then his gaze settles on Donna.

Donna smiles. "I was an actress." Her acting history always brings a smile to her face.

"Were you able to make a living with that?"

Donna frowns. "No. I also worked as a floating temp at the District Attorney's Office."

Mike interrupts her. "Until you moved to Harvey Specter's desk full time?"

Donna's frown deepens. "Yes."

"Interesting. You were a Drama Major and suddenly your secretarial temp position becomes a full-time job with a six-figure salary overnight. Doesn't happen to just anyone, now does it?"

"What can I say? I'm very good at what I do." She couldn't help but note.

"Was that all you were good at, Ms. Paulsen? I don't know about you, but I have never met someone who climbed the corporate ladder that quickly just by being good at her job." Mike steps closer to her.

Donna freezes. Not this again. Not from Mike.

"Objection! Relevance?" Harvey interrupts.

"This is extremely relevant. Ms. Paulsen, do you agree that you have a closer relationship with Mr. Specter than other secretaries have with their bosses? Late nights, dinners, vacations even?"

Donna doesn't answer. She's too stunned. Mike's train of thoughts is going way too far now.

"Is it true, that you have a history of conning your way into a federal agency, of destroying evidence to aid Mr. Specter in a case, of being fired for it but immediately being rehired by him just a week later? Is there anything you wouldn't do for Harvey Specter, Ms. Paulsen? Any secret you wouldn't keep for him?"

"That… I… ughm..." Mike's accusations make Donna stutter.

"Badgering." Harvey steps in.

"You quit just hours before Harvey left the DAs office. You had a good arrangement there, so why did you leave and why did you go back to take a job with him again? Why didn't you concentrate on acting again? A beautiful woman like you can't be short of offers. Work-wise or in her personal life."

"I loved my job and -"

"And you wanted to stay with Harvey, we know. Ms. Paulsen, I'm wondering if it was the job or the man you really loved."

"Excuse me?" Mike's words feel way too familiar to Donna. Which is why his next question doesn't surprise her like it did last time.

"Do you love Harvey Specter?" There it is again...

"What?"

Mike ignores her answer. "A woman in love will do almost anything for a man, don't you agree? Breaking the law by keeping his secrets must be such little sacrifice for the price that is Harvey Specter. Innocent people went to prison because you wanted to keep yourself in Harvey's life. Was it all worth it, Ms. Paulsen?"

"I don't - I didn't..."

"Did I hit a nerve there? Before becoming a COO your personal and professional life revolved around him. And that was expected as you were his secretary, but now? You're with him all the time. Why is that?"

"I -"

"I think you would keep all his secrets, just because you love him. And I think he knows and keeps you around for that same reason. The big question is, how far would you two really go for it?"

"It's not like that."

"You have spent every minute of almost every day together for the past twelve years. I'm sure there are feelings involved. Tell me, how can it not be like that?" Mike takes a deep breath. "Did you ever have a romantic relationship with Harvey Specter?"

"It's complicated."

He pauses to look at Donna before going for the last question:

"Tell me, Ms. Paulsen, what happened in Las Vegas years ago?"

The whole library breaks out in whispers. Everyone is wondering about the relevance of that trip.

Harvey stands up and looks at Mike with rage in his eyes: "We are done here."

Hearing Mike's persistent questioning topped off with that last question makes Donna almost shake with rage, but Harvey's intercession makes her blood boil and that's why she stands up and storms out of the library.

Harvey rushes after her...

"Donna wait!" Harvey calls after her once they leave the library, but she doesn't listen and instead runs to her office. Harvey follows her silently and closes the door behind him.

He looks around her office and spots her sitting on her couch. Harvey walks closer to her and sits down beside her. He could see her being close to a breakdown at the library, but now? Taking a closer look at her features he can clearly see the tears silently streaming down her cheeks.

"Do you want me to kill him?" It doesn't matter that Mike is his friend, he would destroy him if it meant that she would smile again. Harvey hated seeing her upset.

Donna cracks a little smile and rolls her eyes. "I have to go back there, Harvey."

"You're not going in there again."

A frown appears on Donna's face as she raises one eyebrow at him. She didn't expect this reaction from him. "And why shouldn't I?"

Harvey hesitates which makes Donna's patience grow thinner.

"Harvey?"

"I don't want you to go through that again."

"But I have to testify either way! And we both know that Malik will be way worse than Mike just was."

Harvey doesn't answer right away, his mind racing all over the place until a realization strikes him. With eyes wide and a grin on his face, he looks at Donna and says: "Maybe you don't have to testify at all."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe there's a way..."

"What do you have in mind? It's not like I can use spousal privileges," Donna jokes, but then she sees Harvey's serious face. She shakes her head in shock. "No…"

"Donna, I'm gonna make sure that you're not going to be put on that stand again." Harvey's voice drops reassuringly.

"How?" Donna wonders, not able to believe he will find a way.

"You remember Vegas?"

"You thought you've been poisoned by a peppercorn?"

"A Szechuan peppercorn. And I didn't think that it poisoned me. I thought someone had poisoned me."

"And who would want to poison you?"

"Addie."

Harvey almost chokes on his drink. "Why would your sister want to poison you?"

"She could probably give you fifty reasons." Donna takes a sip of her scotch. "Okay, my turn. Truth or dare, Mister?"

"Truth."

"Who was your first crush?"

Harvey chuckles. "So we're going down this road, now?" Donna nods. "Okay then. Ricky Garfield's mom. I was sixteen at the time and he was new in town and I went over to his house and there she was. A beautiful redhead. Had a crush on her from the second I saw her." He sees Donna smile a little, so he pauses. "What?"

"It's just nice to know that there are still things I get to find out about you."

"You know a lot of stuff about me." Harvey muses.

"We have known each other for five years, Harvey! I would worry if I didn't know things about you."

Harvey raises his glass to her, smiling. "Well, then. Here's to five more."

Donna clinks her glass with his and then they both drink. After that, it's Harvey's turn. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever faked an orgasm?" He had expected Donna to be shocked, but seeing her smirk wasn't what he was aiming for.

"Yes."

"Even with me?"

Donna motions for him to come closer before she whispers: "Nothing was faked that night."

It was Harvey's turn to smirk now. "Good."

Donna rolled her eyes while muttering a silent: "Idiot."

"Truth or d-" Before Harvey could finish his question Donna answered with: "Truth."

"What's the most embarrassing thing you ever did?" He grins, knowing the answer and how much it irritates her that he knows about that time.

"We agreed to never speak of Albuquerque ever again!"

Harvey just laughs. Donna joins in. They laugh for a few minutes until their gazes find each other, eyes locking. Harvey's breath deepens and he feels himself slightly moving forward. Donna swallows visibly and becomes serious again.

"My turn, Mr. Specter." She grins mischievously before continuing: "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Harvey smirks right back at her, challenging her.

Donna hiccups. The alcohol getting the best of her. "Wanna do something stupid?"

Harvey's grin widens.

Donna's eyes widen, knowing full well what he's talking about. "Tell me you went through with it."

Harvey looks at her sheepishly, "I kinda forgot."

"How can you forget to file for an annulment?" Donna asks with a raised eyebrow.

"It slipped my mind."

"How? How can being married slip from your mind?"

Hearing Donna's words makes his heart drop a little but he hides it and instead jokes: "Hey, at least that way you don't have to testify."

Donna rolls her eyes while she drifts off to that one fateful evening...

They really did that. In the middle of the night. Drunk. They really got married in Vegas.

As they make their way out of the chapel, Donna shakes her head still not believing that Harvey went with her dare. But then again, they were way too drunk to think coherently.

Looking at Harvey, she grins. "You're tied down now, Mr. Donna!"

Harvey bursts out laughing. "You are too, Mrs. Harvey!"

Donna laughs at that. Then they look at each other with wide eyes and rush to find the nearest trash cans as the alcohol rushes back up from their stomachs.

After that, they go to their hotel room - consummating their marriage.

Waking up the next morning was a lot harder than Donna thought it would be. It might've been the sun streaming through the curtains, the residue of alcohol in her blood that caused a massive headache or the additional weight on her belly. She doesn't know.

What she does know is that she and Harvey drank a lot last night. So much that she can't remember a single thing they did.

Opening her eyes she looks around the room. Good, at least she's in her room. Then she looks to her left and her eyes widen at the sight of her boss sleeping next to her with his arm wrapped around her middle.

Trying to wake him up, Donna shakes him. It takes a few minutes until she is finally successful.

"What?" His voice still showing signs of sleep.

"What did we do yesterday?"

Hearing her question, Harvey opens his eyes and looks up at her only to find her hair disheveled against her bare skin. "Did we -?"

Donna's eyes widen. Only then noticing the state that the room is in - clothes thrown across the floor, pillows mixed in, and the only thing that's covering them was a simple white silky blanket that Donna pulls against her chest. "I think we did."

Their gazes shift to their left hands. As expected, both of them don a simple silver wedding band.

Both of them sigh at the sight of them. A minute of silence passes before Harvey breaks it by saying: "I can't believe we did this."

"I can't believe that we did this," Donna motions between their naked bodies, "again."

"Yeah, me too." Harvey responds hesitantly before asking while looking at his wedding ring: "What are we gonna do with this though?"

Without missing a beat, Donna answers: "Get an annulment, of course."

"I'll take care of it then."

Crossing the threshold of his office Harvey takes a deep breath.

After his revelation, Donna had wanted to be alone to process all of it. In addition to that, he also didn't want to anger her more. And that's where he is now. In his office, alone, thinking about all of the things that have happened since that night in Vegas and his reasoning behind them still being married.

Why didn't he file for an annulment? He doesn't know for sure, but it might be because of his past that he's here now, sitting on the windowsill of his office.

"But it's in my roots, it's in my veins  
It's in my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain"

Maybe it was his mom cheating on his father that has made him who he is today. A man who is too scared to commit fully. Maybe that's why none of his girlfriends became something more. Or maybe it was his actions of having meaningless affairs that he used to heal his broken heart with.

What he knows is that he didn't want to live this way and that's why he didn't file for an annulment. But why did he wait this long to tell her?

He was too scared. If Donna had found out sooner, she would have left him and he couldn't let that happen. She was too important to him.

From the moment he met her, he knew that Donna was different from all other women. And as time passed, and they got to know each other more, Harvey knew that she was the one and being married to her made sense to him. He knew that they belonged together. He just didn't know how to access it.

Part of him didn't want to lose that feeling of belonging to someone and that's why he didn't file for an annulment.

"Harvey, you have a minute?" Hearing Louis' voice makes Harvey's train of thought slowly fade away. Turning around, he watches his fellow name partner enter his office.

"A minute for what, Louis?" He asks, annoyed by the interruption.

"A minute to say I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Harvey wonders.

"Going through with this trial. Letting Mike rip into Donna like that…"

"It's not your fault, Louis." Harvey interrupts, but Louis ignores him and continues his monologue. "I should have stopped him. I should have stopped him before he embarrassed Donna. But my mind was too preoccupied to do that."

"We knew what would come up, Louis. We were ready for that."

"But I wasn't. Because of Sheila."

"What does Sheila have to do with this?"

"I slept with her, Harvey."

Seeing Harvey's confused look Louis continues: "Ever since I left that hotel room, I've been stuck. We were together again and it felt just like it did before. Except it wasn't, because she wasn't mine. Since then I've been counting the days until my soulmate marries someone else and walks out of my life forever."

"What do you mean?"

"She's getting married and I slept with her. I know she's with another man, I know she says that she loves him, but all I want to do is just say to her, can't she see, the man she's meant to be with is standing right in front of her face."

"I'm so sorry."

"I should've told her when I had the chance. But that's something I'm gonna have to live with for the rest of my life."

Too stunned to say anything Harvey doesn't even notice Louis leave his office.

All these years…

Not wanting to waste another second Harvey makes his way towards Donna's office, hoping, needing, her to still be there.

Seeing her propped against her desk, Harvey lets out a deep breath before crossing the threshold.

Donna's attention perks up as she hears him enter and she looks up. Before she has a chance to say anything, Harvey closes the distance between them.

Harvey lifts her chin with his right hand while pulling her hip closer to his with his left. Their eyes lock, his thumb strokes her cheek softly and before Donna can understand what is happening, Harvey's lips find hers.

Her eyes close as the initial shock washes over her, the feeling of his lips on hers, combined with his scent overwhelms her and she melts into him, deepening the kiss. His grip tightens around her waist, gently squeezing her to his front. Donna smiles into the kiss Her arms find his chest, his shoulders, finally stopping at his neck, where she pulls him closer to her.

Before either one has the chance to take this any further, Donna breaks the kiss, looking at him with a questioning look.

"That's why."

"What do you mean?" Donna wonders.

"You wondered why I didn't file for an annulment. This is why."

Donna's breath hitches. Could that mean? "What?"

"I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you from the second I've met you. And I always will be. I'm sorry that it took me a long time to figure it out. You have no idea how sorry I am. I have been struggling with my feelings for so long. I knew that I loved you, I just couldn't access it. I'm sorry. I-" Harvey stops mid-sentence when he sees Donna's grin and the tears welling up in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Donna chuckles. "It's just... It took you this long to finally see what was right in front of your face."

Harvey smiles. "I'm sorry that it took me thirteen years to get here"

"More like twelve and a half," Donna says before she moves to kiss him again.


End file.
